Saturday, April 24, 2010

Readability Be Damned

Back in March when my mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday I went onto http://chapters.indigo.ca and into the fiction section to see what I might like.

I initially gravitated to the new Chuck Klosterman book.  His first piece of fiction.  I had read a few of his books before (collections of essays, mostly true stories, and anecdotes) and read him online from time-to-time so I added that to my wish list (it's called "Downtown Owl", and I liked it).

Then, I started looking for crime novels, heist books, and other assorted who done it types.  In the new release section was a Don Delillo book that claimed to be about a filmmaker and a U.S. Government inside-the-war room fellow.  In grade eleven I read this book "White Noise" by Don Delillo.  All I can tell you about it today is that I think it ended with the main character in a grocery store but I vaguely remember liking it.  I put his new one on my wish list as well.  It was titled "Point Omega".

It sucked.

It's not just that it was a slow moving book.  It never really got started.  It was only a hundred or so pages, but honestly it could have done with another hundred more just so that the really good story lines actually had time to develop.

In my non-expert opinion it was just poorly written, and I can't even begin to describe how much I now loathe the comma.  This is what this awful book has done to me.  I can't even look at a comma now without feeling sick to my stomach.

It began with sentences with so many commas I could barely keep track, kept with that theme for a while, continued to overuse them, and finished, finally, with a few pages of disjointed thoughts, separated, of course, by many commas, presumably to promote something I can only describe as "punctuation epilepsy".

The only advice I can give is to avoid reading this book.  That, and Don Delillo should read "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" by Lynn Truss and pay careful attention to the chapter on the comma (assuming for a minute that a hugely successful author of dozens of novels, short stories and plays can take advice from a blathering blog hack like myself).

Potato Chip Update!

Quick update on my potato chip situation.  The math just got better!!

The discount blue bag chips are back to their regular 2 for $5 price and my reliable favourites have now dropped in price by $0.70 now making them only $0.50 more than the cheap ones - and totally worth every penny.

I am pleased.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Steakatarian

So when Alexander started eating real food he was very particular about eating meat, probably because he didn't have his molars yet and it was very difficult to chew.  Avery has never shared those concerns.  She'll eat steak any day of the week.  One day we were all sitting at the dinner table eating a steak dinner with steamed broccoli and potatoes and Alexander was being fussy about the meat.  Jodi puts more broccoli on his plate and comments, "Our little vegetarian."

Upon hearing this, Avery, head buried in her plate and her elbows up and flapping like a Dodo bird looks up with a mouth full of beef and another piece on her fork and says, "Not me.  I'm a steakatarian!"   She routinely eats 8oz of steak in a sitting and asks for more.  Daddy's little girl.

Which brings us to...

The Top 5 Steaks I've Ever Eaten:

  1. Merlot (Ottawa, Ontario)
    Thick and juicy with a subtle onion and cheese crust on top.... absolutely perfect
  2. Charcoal Steak House (Kitchener, Ontario)
    Was half way through it before I realized I was cutting it with the dull side of my butter knife
  3. Le Papillon (Toronto, Ontario)
    Not known for their steak, but cooked perfectly, nice and tender... I licked my plate clean
  4. Planet Fusion (Kitchener, Ontario - now closed)
    Great steak. Thick and perfectly cooked.  Wonderful flavour.  The service was the best we've ever had, so that may have helped too :)
  5. My House (Cambridge, Ontario)
    My neighbour bought some steaks from the Shriners and we cooked them up on the BBQ one night.  Absolutely great steak for home cookin' and the great company just added to the whole steak experience

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Entirely Too Digital

OK, you know you're too immersed in a digital world when you're doing something that has been done manually for centuries - and can only be done manually - and your brain tries to behave as if it's sitting in front of the computer.  This just happened to me:

I was putting away my laundry and a t-shirt which was folded (perfectly, of course) dropped off the top of the pile as I walked to my dresser.  This amazingly folded article of clothing became unraveled and started to tumble to the floor.  No word of a lie, my brain thought "CTRL - Z".

(for those of you who aren't familiar with the term, it's a keyboard shortcut - pressing the "Ctrl" key at the same time as "z" - that performs a very special action: UNDO)

It's True

I have scored a game winning goal at Maple Leaf Gardens (and as it turns out I have the same goals per game average at MLG as Wayne Gretzky)

I'm #4

And the score sheet from that momentous occasion: